Salar Salim joins Maine Poet Laureate Stuart Kestenbaum in conversation and to read his poem "For Who I Am," featured in A NEW LAND, a poetry anthology from The Telling Room. Stuart and Salar discuss immigration and experiencing Islamophobia in Maine, using writing to combat discrimination and process sadness and frustration, and the impact and importance of publishing your writing and sharing your message. Salar is a sophomore at the College of The Holy Cross.
Voices of the Future is hosted and conceived by Stuart Kestenbaum, produced by Josephine Holtzman and Isaac Kestenbaum at Future Projects, with help from Carly Peruccio, mixed by Merritt Jacob, and music by Jordan Kramer. Voices of the Future is curated and distributed by Molly McGrath and Rylan Hynes of The Telling Room. This series is made possible by the Academy of American Poets with funds from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation.
To learn more about The Telling Room and its programs, visit www.tellingroom.org.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Do you remember what you felt like after you finished this poem?
Salar: It felt little bit like a big weight just lifted off my chest. I think that part, you know, just putting it out into the world and publishing it, it just felt like my message, you know, has just an impact on a lot of people.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Welcome to Voices of the Future. I'm Stuart Kestenbaum. In this series, I'm interviewing young writers and poets from Maine, all of whom have participated in programs of The Telling Room, a nonprofit writing center in Portland. The Telling Room's mission is to empower youth through writing and to share their voices with the world. All of the authors in the series are featured in A New Land, an anthology of 30 poems written at The Telling Room. When I read or hear the work of these writers, I am moved by their enthusiasm, skill, and courage. Some of them were born in Maine, others have come here from Africa and the Middle East. All speak with urgency about their lives and their futures.
Salar Salim has been coming to The Telling Room since his freshman year at Deering High School. Now he's a sophomore at the College of the Holy Cross. In this episode, Salar tells me about experiencing Islamophobia in Maine and how he uses his writing for coping and resilience.
Salar: “For Who I Am,” by Salar Salim.
“Terrorist.”
This is what you call me without shame.
It hurts to be blamed for what I didn’t do.
I’m here
because I want to live.
I’m not here to hurt you.
Sometimes I ask myself
Why am I discriminated against
for who I am?
I feel as though I am surrounded by ignorance,
anger, and malice.
You were taught to discriminate.
You say that there is liberty and justice for all.
Freedom is the state of being free, but within society,
why is hate your message of liberty?
Justice is fair behavior or treatment,
doesn’t this apply to all women and men?
Battling to stay alive,
it was a struggle to get here.
At home we dreamed of America,
“the land of the free,”
but does everyone here
live an amazing life and enjoy equality?
I feel now as though it is all a lie,
the televised version, a trick of the eye.
“He’s a Muslim, probably one of those terrorists.”
This is what Americans assume.
But the Muslim person is here because he loves you,
no matter your religion or race,
not to bomb you.
“She’s an immigrant, she is here to steal our jobs.”
This is what Americans believe.
The immigrant is here because she wants to live,
and protect her children and not let them suffer,
not to steal your bread and butter.
When will you begin to awaken,
open your eyes, and discover
we all have the same aspiration?
Stuart Kestenbaum: Thank you. So when did you write this?
Salar: I believe my sophomore year of high school.
Stuart Kestenbaum: This was through The Telling Room?
Salar: Yeah, this was through The Telling Room.
Stuart Kestenbaum: How'd you get involved with The Telling Room?
Salar: Well, my brother got involved before I did. He's about three years older than me. So he got involved first. He really liked it. And as soon as I started high school, you know, he introduced me to it, and I've been with The Telling Room since my freshman year.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Like as an after-school program?
Salar: Yeah, yeah, as an after-school program. I did the Publishing Workshops, so we helped basically create the books and choose poems that we want to include in the books and design the covers and titles and everything, basically. And I went to The Telling Room after school every Wednesday.
Stuart Kestenbaum: When you wrote this poem, do you remember, was there a writing prompt that you had?
Salar: I don't think it was a writing prompt. It was mostly just me writing about my frustration. I use writing as a coping mechanism whenever I'm frustrated with anything basically in life. And during that time, you know, I know my mom had been getting a lot of discrimination because she wears a hijab and this was just my way of expressing my anger and sadness, in a way. And I wanted it to be a little bit like a dialogue, like I was yelling at a racist in a way, or Islamophobe. And it's just, you know, I was just trying to say like, “Why do you do this? Why are you like this?” You know, just basically asking why.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Do you remember what you felt like after you finished this poem?
Salar: It felt a little bit like a big weight just lifted off my chest. I think that part, you know, just putting it out into the world and publishing it, it just felt like my message is, you know, has just an impact on a lot of people.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Have you read it to people?
Salar: Very few. I haven't even read it to my parents yet, because, you know, it's just, it makes me very uncomfortable just expressing that because I feel like it would, I don't know. It's just weird. I just can't really do it, you know, read it to my parents. But I know I've had a good amount of my friends read the poem.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Your brother knows the poem?
Salar: I'm not sure if he's read it yet. I haven't like really talked to him about it. It's just, it's one of those things that I just like keeping in my own life. You know, if he does read it, I wouldn't mind at all. It's just, I'm not going to go out of my way.
Stuart Kestenbaum: And how does it feel like, so you wrote this, you're a sophomore in college now, right?
Salar: Yeah.
Stuart Kestenbaum: So four years ago. So how's it feel when you read it?
Salar: I feel like I've advanced a lot as a writer now. It feels a bit old to me, but it's still, you know, the impact of it, I think is still very strong.
Stuart Kestenbaum: It doesn't seem four years old. It could be written today.
Salar: Yeah. It still applies, you know, sadly.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Your family came to Westbrook. What country did you come from?
Salar: I was born and raised in Iraq. And until I was like eight years old, we moved to Turkey for two years. And after living in Turkey for a couple of years we had to go through the whole UN system in order to come to America. We moved to Portland and, you know, basically restarted our life a couple of times and came here with basically nothing and worked our way up.
Stuart Kestenbaum: So how old were you when you came to Portland?
Salar: 10 years old.
Stuart Kestenbaum: What kind of images did you have in your mind. You’re in Turkey, and your mom or dad says, you know, we're going to go to Portland, Maine?
Salar: It's actually funny because I initially thought that we were going to Canada because, you know, I had an uncle that lived there when we were living in Turkey, so we wanted to go to him so he could help us out. But Canada didn't accept us as refugees, so our second option was America and, you know, we just had to go for it. And we went to the closest place to Canada, you know, Maine.
Stuart Kestenbaum: And did you have an image in your mind of what Maine was going to be like, or?
Salar: Honestly, no. I was just, you know, I was like, “Oh, here we go. Restarting my life all over again. I have to learn a new language and start again.”
Stuart Kestenbaum: So how many languages do you speak?
Salar: I speak four, but I'm a little bit, you know, not as good with a couple of them. I speak Arabic, very fluent with that. And I also spoke Kurdish and Turkish and English.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Yeah, so that's a lot of start-over for 10.
Salar: Yeah, it is.
Stuart Kestenbaum: You know, this idea that anybody who's a Muslim is a terrorist, it has taken root in American, parts of American society. This has been a very big thing for you. Are you confronting it daily?
Salar: Not daily for me, because obviously like for me, I say it's a little bit hard to tell if I'm a Muslim or not if you were to look at me. But I know for my mother, for example, who wears a hijab every day, it's, you know, she goes through a lot. Whether it's people telling her to, like, go back to her country or, you know, that happens, sadly, pretty often. And I know I experienced a lot of it, especially back in middle school when I first came here. Kids back in middle school would call me all sorts of things, and it was just very frustrating dealing with it. And it's not something that I realized I had to deal with when I first came here.
Stuart Kestenbaum: And how did you respond?
Salar: It was just a lot of frustration that I had to keep inside and, you know, administration doesn't really do much, you know, when things like that happen. They just say, “Oh, don't do that again.” And it happens again.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Were there teachers who helped out at all, or?
Salar: Not really, which is not, you know, it's pretty sad. But at the same time, it's almost like, I don't know how they could help when, you know, it's happening like so often. And for me, I also had like very limited English. So it was hard to explain to them what's going on.
Stuart Kestenbaum: And did that get better as you, the longer you were here?
Salar: Yeah, it definitely got better, especially in high school. You know, I learned to stand up for myself, and I went to Deering High School, which has, you know, a lot of Muslim students and I felt very comfortable with my identity. In high school, I for once was proud to be Muslim. I didn't try to hide it. And you know, I was like, “Oh yeah, I speak Arabic.” Like, I never said I speak Arabic in middle school, for example because I was scared, you know, like people would call me like, “Oh look, you're a terrorist. What are you going to do, bomb us?” So I learned to be very confident and, you know, with that aspect of myself.
Stuart Kestenbaum: So you're like 11 or 12, when like somebody like taunts you. When I was 11 or 12, if that happened to me, it would have been really a hard thing. Like what'd your parents say? Did you go home and say anything about it?
Salar: Honestly, no, I never told my parents about it at all. It's just something that I wanted to deal with myself, especially because I know my parents would be very hurt if, you know, things like that would happen, and they would just worry a lot. And for me, I just don't want to add onto the stress that they already have of, you know, moving to a whole different country and them having to, you know, take care of us and find ways to like pay for our food and everything.
Stuart Kestenbaum: And you're a sophomore?
Salar: Yeah.
Stuart Kestenbaum: At Holy Cross?
Salar: Yep, I am.
Stuart Kestenbaum: What's your major in college?
Salar: I'm still undecided, but I'm probably going to go into computer science along with a minor in business ethics in society.
Stuart Kestenbaum: And do you see yourself continuing to write?
Salar: Yeah, for sure. I'm not doing as much writing I would say just because, you know, especially recently with college, it's very hard to find time to write whatever you want to do. But most of the writing that I've been doing is… Writing for me is like a coping mechanism, so like whenever I'm like really stressed or have like a strong emotion about a certain thing, I would just, you know, write in my notes basically everything. And sometimes I'd turn it into like a poem or another form of writing.
Stuart Kestenbaum: So what would be some of those situations, like they would make you…?
Salar: Certain sadness, you know, like if a death happens in life or if I'm feeling frustrated about something college-related. It's very random, you know, and some of it are reflections of like my own life, like what I need to do, thinking about the future a lot. And that's something that I do.
Stuart Kestenbaum: What's the last thing you wrote?
Salar: It's not really in a form of poetry, but it's, as I said, it's mostly like diaries slash journals that I keep of just you know, things going on in my life. They tend to be like private. I lock them up just so, you know, it's just me putting whatever's in my heart just out there, but locked up.
Stuart Kestenbaum: Voices of the Future is hosted and conceived by me and produced by Josephine Holtzman and Isaac Kestenbaum at Future Projects, with help from Carly Peruccio. The music in this episode is by Jordan Kramer. The series is made possible by the Academy of American Poets with funds from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation. To learn more about The Telling Room and its programs, visit tellingroom.org. I'm Stuart Kestenbaum. Thanks for listening.